Regrets, Not So Simple

An oblong monolith of thought

Sitting in the dust of yester regrets
Cries,
“Why, why, why-why-why…”
And lets the plea die in the quest.

Half wake,
Eye opening to a reality it doesn’t know exist,
Catches glimpse,
Of a grim-grotesque-quaking rumble, rainbowless, echoing from distant fear.
Hope dies slowly-quick, pricking the retina, infecting it’s perception with debt
As the origin of it’s distress comes into focus…
A nether-less fortress where the less fortunate die fortuneless
Pridefully descending into the abyss of souls spent,
Searching  bottomless pits, treasure crumb bits
Exhausting the Artemis within
Until life’s depth becomes monotonous,
The cavernous mysteries level up to endless horizons not shifting one inch
And the lids of over focused eyes,
Fixed on image
Lose grips
Of what it is that is
All pursuits are drained of their meaning
And nothing, is accomplished…

“Why, why, why-why-why…”

You see, I see, the we, that be, the fluid grasp of still not free, blowing to and fro on native trees violently…

You see I see the we that be the fluid grasp of still not free blowing to and fro on native trees                   ! VIOLENTLY!

The prison of a cell in a mind, who disregards time, to question why ,
The 767 miles, prior to the clang of the door, slamming hitching locking stitching vibrating
Slowly, dissipating into the nothing that IS, SILENCE.
Went the way it did?
Is self righteously filled with the weight of a life begging for rest.

The omen and only clue,
Is the heart racing to stop unbeknown in a man’s chest
Beating there is nothing left into rhythmic strains of forethought trained to drop the after effect
Of an exaggerated word or phrase like
“what the FUCKKKKKKKKK!!!”…
? Is going on? what am I doing here?
This cant be happening to me, Not me, why me?
I don’t belong here, I do not see the reason for my being
And yet I am…
I think therefore I do,
I live so true, so far, so cool, so round about and nonchalant, so out of scope with all of you
That this place I live, the mind wont give a chance or second reparation kid,
My bones won’t quit, I die to live,
Without a weapon, untrained, dripping wet from sweat of fear
Cuddled in a bomb of dear
Embalming myself a world unclear
Dreary is this scape so near
My walls so close could drip a tear
Could feel the weight of me, the down right case insanity
And eventually,
The crying plead
A slave,
Screaming
“! Dear god…
Why am I not free!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Could this past of mine,
This life I led to lead,
Have naught a spec release
Not one moments passing peace?
Must these thoughts forever haunt, plaguing me with nightmares taunt,
Dangling me, hooks in my back, above everything, I thought I’d be
For the rest of your eternity?
! I’M SORRY!

Cant you see…

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